Saturday, August 28, 2010

I am so fucking ridiculously fed up with the entirety of the earth at this very moment. I am sick of the fickleness. I am sick of the dicklessness. Yes, all males have penises. Yes, they are different sizes. Yes, males like to have sex with females, except some who like to have sex with males. But no, I can't picture myself with a dick in my mouth, or one in my ass, or one in another's ass, so no, I am not gay. I do want to confront myself and my existence. I want to know the nature of the way I interact with others and the way I conduct my existence. Doesn't everyone? Or do people think they already know?

I think that is the problem with humanity: it is not skeptical enough.

People are so set in their ways; they are convinced that they are aware of their existence. I, however, am aware that I am completely unaware of my existence. I have no idea what is going on. I smile, laugh, and enjoy the entertainment. After that, I go to my room, to the house, and I eat, sleep, and enjoy the comforts and responsibilities that go along with house living. I lay in my bed and tinker around on my laptop. Sometimes I come home drunk, sometimes I come home high, and sometimes both. All times, I am happy and comfortable and loved. And I love others, but perhaps not enough. Perhaps I am so comfortable that I do not love others. Perhaps to love others is to be uncomfortable. I suggest that we all be comfortable. We should figure out if it is worth loving others, if we are all to be comfortable. Because to love others means to be uncomfortable. I think the answer is that one should be uncomfortable and be comforted by others. But I still question whether we shouldn't love others and just love ourselves. In a way it is horrible, but if everyone was doing it, then comfortable people would not be forced to be uncomfortable.

1 comment:

synickdoche said...

There's no reason to decide that love must be comfortable or uncomfortable. I guess if one wants to cling to an optimistic or pessimistic perspective (which could be either state of comfort, really,) then one will conduct ones' self accordingly. I think an enlightened approach is better... it's always subjective to ascribe a certain quality of existence to a particular event. While some things may be unpleasant or others arousing, it's only the actions we take and the actions of others that are significant because they are that which causes subjective experiences. And how anyone takes a one action over others cannot be reduced to principles or qualities such as pessimism or optimism, comfort or discomfort.

I would go a step further though, and say that not only I, but everyone else is completely unaware of their own existences as well. We could remain skeptical about even that, but I don't see any compelling reason to. Skepticism may be great for a lot of things, but it doesn't really operate in a local or immediate sense. But would it be so unreasonable to say that that describes the confusion and I might say neurotic conduct that is simply illogical, of not only myself but of everyone?

Probably that's not saying particularly anything at all. The critical point is that we may think that some people do think they positively know about their own existence. And you're saying that they should be more skeptical. That's certainly true, but I seriously doubt that anyone knows what it is that they should be skeptical about.

That's all only how I think theoretically. In practice, who the shit knows?

I'm not really sure what to say to the last few sentences of your post. I think realistically the best we can hope for is to be comfortable in the necessary, perpetual and physical ways, while also comfortable in our discomfort which drives us mentally.