I'm slipping in an out of secured consciousness. When I think of extreme things I start to lose focus. But I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. I just have to follow through with the plans I've laid for myself. Internalize them, focus inward.
I must begin to stop worrying about this shit-storm on the outside - everything I don't understand. And focus inward to figure out the things I don't understand that are on the inside.
That should be good enough of a distraction/something to focus on for now.