Monday, December 22, 2008

I'm glad no one comes here, but that it is open to everyone. There is just so much I don't understand. But everyone is so focused on living and being happy. And I don't think that should be the focus. But there's no way to communicate that to people. And I don't think they would understand. Or perhaps I'm the one who needs to understand. I don't know, but I'd prefer to not find out. Because what is a person beyond what he can reason for himself. Reasoning for oneself and acting on it is the pursuit of greatness. Greatness is valuable I think. I don't know how to do it or even look at it. But thus far I've found it's pretty easy to move through life without knowing shit. It seems like everyone else knows so much.

One thing I've learned is that not all humans are the same: your skin your gender your hair your zits your weight your social status your location all make people very different. While this may not be important for many it is to me because I always thought everyone was similar in thought and deed. But we aren't. Certain superficial things change us at the core of our being into something that others aren't changed into. I have spent too much time trying to blend in with all those different kinds of people. I need to find my own way. I'm not even close, except maybe writing this. But writing it down shows how far away I am from it.

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